I'm blogging again

In March second week, almost a month after my last post, I thought I’ll start filling my blog during this summer(May), but I had found another means to express myself; may be not as coherently, but definitely with more flair and freedom and to an extent with good flow. Yeah I started doing podcasts and as I had imagined it worked out ok. Now I’m getting a little stale in it. As self-conscious as I am, I cannot help being bogged down by the thought that people would have gotten used to my style and perspective already. And by now most of the “regular” listeners, I presume, can judge what my take is going to be on any issue. While this is true with anyone, it hinders me from saying things freely. It’s almost like saying the same jokes over and over again to the same person.
I: “when I was in my 5th std I used to draw…”
Friend: “yeah you said this before!”
I: “oh!... well in my 10th std I once made fun of my maths tea…”
Friend: “you’ve told this one too, several times..”
I: “really? hmmm”
That’s the end of it; I’ll never start a casual conversation again. I’ve had a few friends like this, they just don’t make enough observations of their life experiences and as a result of that they turn out to be really bad conversationalists. But even if you make those observations there are only few perspectives you as a person can give, and over a period you become very predictable. It becomes like a movie with the same story and same sequences only played by different actors, and sometimes, different music. Looking back, I’m wondering how many situations in my life have that unique flavour, independent from others of mine and those of the others. I’m counting - good, I have to use the fingers in my feet as well.
Anyway, all those thoughts affect the way I speak and I already feel that I might have a reached a saturation point. Of course there will be listeners, regardless of how bad your podcasts get, like those who watch Balachander’s TV serials (compare these to his old movies). Why? Your works in the initial stages, if they turn out good, create a good impression about you. Most people are optimistic in this regard, they hope that the creator would reach his best like he did in his first few creations.
Writing, however, gives you the option to be free and yet not be hampered by simultaneous criticisms from my inner self. I’ve grown really weary of blogs that write about politics, economics, environment and all that; things that cannot really be changed by changing the opinion of a few (which I believe cannot be done by a mere post in a blog, but yes, it can be, as Cho would say, “the starting point for a debate”). I know where strength lies when it comes to writing. It’s in criticizing others. So far I’ve been leaving comments in random blogs and posting stuff because I don’t have anyone to attack from home.
But I think I’ll start talking about things I watch in TV, what I do for an average 3-4 hours a day. I pass a lot of comments about that I see. These are the channels I switch between: Discovery, Comedy n/w, Teletoons, BBC world, NatGeo, ESPN and NDTV 24x7. Of course there are channels that I watch too. So let’s how things go from here.



Anonymous said...

I: “oh!... well in my 10th std I once made fun of my maths tea…”
Friend: “you’ve told this one too, several times..”


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